Febuary 29th, 2009, Good Night

Good Evening! I have to take time to reflect on the past week. I have to say I am lucky to have such great friends that are there for me day or night, just like I am for them. However, it saddens me that people I thought were my friends aren't, it took me a while to figure out who my true friends were and who are not. Even these past couple months it's become even more clear. I always excuse people and there behavior or at least try to rationalize it. However, I am not a doormat anymore. It makes me sick to sit back and watch how people act. People always show their true colors and everything does come out in the wash.

Not everyone will understand what this is about, but I know some will. I am done sugar coating and dancing around the subject. A tragedy struck last May. I and many others were devastated over a death of someone who meant a lot to many. I remember I was in Florida when I got the call and bringing my grandmother home. It was hard for me because I couldn't be here with friends.

That death hasn't just devastated loved ones and friends, but it has tore people apart. It has torn a community apart. Instead of uniting people, it has pushed people away. I look around and some are just so lost. Some have a hard time still with it and can't participate in certain things, which is understandable, they are still supportive. However, I thought this tragedy was suppose to bring us together, make people stronger. I have been observing just opposite. People are becoming more hateful and sour. Life is too short and having bitter and sour relationships is just a waste of time. What will it take? Another tragedy? We are all adults. It is time to start taking responsibility, grow up and enjoy our lives. No one is better than anyone else. Maybe someone is better in one sport than another, but we all are good at something, and we each come to the table with something to offer. I guess I always try to see the silver lining

Words can't explain how much I miss Thursdays, and how I still struggle. I realize we will never have that again. It is something unexplainable. It brought so much joy to my life. Every week I couldn't wait. The liveliness, the smiles, you couldn't pay for that kind of entertainment. I had some of the best moments of my life on Thursday nights. I even let my guard down. I met great people and some I have become even closer to now. I remember how people were then and how they are now.

It is like they are two different people. The liveliness and smiles are gone. I tried re-creating that on Saturdays, but I couldn't. I mentioned that I was going to start bowling just before Luis died and I told everyone when I got back I was going to learn. The one who swore she was never going to bowl. Aida took me and I got my first bowling ball. I thought I could be with my friends, and we could all get through it together. Something positive out of a negative situation. I never bowled with those friends. We never all got together. Except the one time I did practice with Felix, who turned out to be a great friend.

Fortunately, I am with friends now, but it was none in which I thought I was going to be with. What can I do but throw my arms in the air. I was there last night and I thought everyone just came from a funeral. People aren't the people I thought they were, however, I do have to say I have found and made such great relationships and friendships since. I hope everyone had a great weekend and goodnight to all. R.I.P. Luis

Love,
Sarah
(Some quotes you will see repeats, I go with what I feel that day, the same quote two days in a row was an accident. But I know I have said these, because these are some of my favorites.)
"Lots of people want to ride with you in the Limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the Limo breaks down." Oprah Winfrey
"For everyone of us that succeeds, it's because there is somebody there to show us a way out." Oprah Winfrey
"Surround yourself with people who are only going to lift you higher." Oprah Winfrey