October 9, 2009 A DAY I WILL REMAIN SILENT!

Yes I cannot speak words today! I am so hurt and full of tears! All I ever wanted in life was to be a wife and a mom. To help people, to have the power to make a difference in people's lives. Today I cannot stop the tears from flowing. I do my best to stay as happy and optimistic as possible through all the curve balls that have been thrown at me. I do my best each day. I pray to the the Lord Jesus Christ with Buddhist beads. I keep them in my pocket reminding me he is with me. I believe in peace and love and all I hear is hate and greed. I read Rev Run's words of Wisdom today and it stated "You might as well tell the truth in life and get it over with. The ugly truth is always better than the dolled up lie." That rings so true. How can we be honest if we are not honest with ourselves? Some times things get misinterpreted or there is a miscommunication. Also there is that telephone game, hey someone hears something and says this, and all of a sudden people point fingers not really knowing both sides or the truth. The truth is we all have different interpretations and perspectives on body language and words. I have been so misrepresented and there has been plenty of lies told about me. However, those who know me, know who I truly am. However, we are all human and make mistakes. The Lord says to forgive and I forgive. I am probably one of the most accepting and forgiving people out there.

Honesty, that is so hard these days, look at the media! How honest is that! Tabloids! We live in such a dishonest world. The most sad thing about today is I hear critics downing President Obama for receiving the Nobel Peace Prize! Was it not less than a year ago Americans were in tears! Standing outside cheering him on! Hey do you want that job? Could you be a better president? Despite all politics aside, he is an articulate and wonderful man. He is one that touches people, inspires many. When that immediate gratification is not made people criticize. He is putting his best efforts on uniting people and creating peace. People start talking foreign policy, economics. Well people it's not about foreign policy or economics, it is about PEACE and uniting, and he does a damn good job! Low man on the totem poll wins an election! Well start helping! Do something for the better good of humanity! Not one person can change the circumstance were in. We all need to come together. He is one who is inspirational and motivational! Don't forget who he is as a person! He so deserves this award in my opinion. Everyone has the right to make there own choices in life. I chose to live a life of love and giving. We as a society spend so much time taring people down instead of helping them.

Again I am hurt and speechless to what our society has come to. We allow trivial things to get in our way of true happiness. We look at the outer shell and instead of the inner core. I know so many people that are not happy or couples that are not together do to those trivial things. In the long run it will do nothing but hurt them. I sit here today and I meditated and pray. I pray that I will somehow be able to touch someone's life. Be a part of making this world a better place, a happy place for all people. Honesty, comes from first looking in the mirror. For those that lie and do people wrong it will all come out in the wash. I have found that to be true. It use to eat me alive, scared to be honest and tell the truth. People didn't believe me. Well guess what, it all came out in the wash! Have a great weekend and don't forget to take a look in the mirror, I know I always need to!